Chapter 05: Mrs Officer, from Isle of Dogs
by Gerard Cypriako
Summary: Months prior to Atari's crash, Rex tells a story to King, the newest addition to the pack. Featuring Bobby Valentino and Kidd Kidd. Might re-format, but in Wes Anderson fashion, deadpan is better than alivepan.


January 22nd, 2028

Don't tell me you haven't heard of the sexcapade Rex had with a police dog. (Duke)

You don't say? (King)

Nah, I have heard that story. (Boss)

True, I told you. (Duke)

I would appreciate you were more precise if you want to retell that story. It wasn't an escapade. She came over to our school with a member of the police who had to do security work. (Rex)

But if she had to work, how did it go down? (King)

Before I continue, none of you have my permission to spread it around. (Rex)

All right, understood. (All)

She came in a day after a junkie hole was found outside of the school. (Rex)

Junkie hole? (King)

A place where junkies do drugs. (Boss)

They left bent, dirty spoons and everything. (Duke)

That's insane. (King)

She was brought in to inspect the backpacks of the students, just to be safe. But all the students are children, so it's nonsense. (Rex)

Heh. (Boss)

The police member who brought her was invited to stay more time than required. He was familiar with the teacher. (Rex)

Right, the zen teacher. (King)

Not every bald master in a robe is a zen teacher. (Rex)

Sure, like not every zen teacher is a junkie. Yeet. (Duke)

Yeet. (All)

So him and the teacher stayed indoors while she was allowed by her master to be unsupervised on the school yard, after class. (Rex)

Oooh. (All)

She was a German Shepherd, like they all are. (Rex)

Impressive, right? (Boss)

I know. (Duke)

Tell me about it. Most likely it was a pure bred with a Pedigree. (King)

More like an inbred. Yeet. (Boss)

Yeet. (All).

So did you approach her and propose to...mount her? (King)

This is the best part. (Duke)

I approached her and noticed she was agitated. Maybe because she was subjected to stimulant drugs, I don't know. But I padded up to her from behind and asked: Are you in heat? (Rex)

Those are balls. (Boss)

I wish I had those. (Duke)

And what happened next? (King)

Fourth base. It escalated very fast, but we went through all of them. First base is sniffing, second base is licking, third base is playful biting and fourth base is anal. (Rex)

Ho ho! That explanation I had not heard. That is wild. (Boss)

So you figured not to impregnate her, but still ride her. That's admirable. (King)

(Unanimous agreement)

Was she into it? (King)

We both agreed to it, and then we agreed not to do it ever again. (Rex)

Oh. Shame. (King)

Did the police even find out who were behind the junkie hole? (Boss)

No, but their visit scared them away. Or that is to be assumed. Never again was a junkie hole found in the same place. (Rex)

You brought yourself to investigate her junkie hole. Yeet. (Duke)

YEET. (Yeet)

In times like this I wonder why you're not the leader, instead of the filthy, nasty, but definately not raunchy Chief. (Duke)

I don't see why would you overlook my attempts of leadership for this anecdote. That kind of experience does not make a leader. (Rex)

(Murmurs)

You shouldn't look up to me for that. And don't let this be more than a fantasy to fulfill your unattended drives. (Rex)

Yeah, I've seen you two at night fucking a couple of times by now. It's disgusting. (Boss)

We are helping each other to survive, remember? (King)

That was unexpected. (Rex)

Plus, Duke here gives pretty good head. Probably better than Rex. Yeet. (King)

YEET. (All)

You all are gross. I wouldn't do anal with a bitch. (Boss)

And what makes you think that because I did, I'm more qualified to lead us as a pack than Chief? (Rex)

You're more interesting, and much more fun to be around with. That's for sure. (Boss)

If that's the case, thanks. (Rex)

(Chief returns, annoyed at the pack that has slown down)

I didn't hear that much you said about me leading our pack, Rex-kun, but I don't do. We all are the leader. Now move it. (Chief)

(Chief walks away, the rest follow)

Rex here really knows how to fuck the police. (King)


End file.
